


Let’s play

by Starstorm12



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstorm12/pseuds/Starstorm12
Summary: “One week. Find the epee in less than one week and you won’t ever have to see me again“This is a good trade off, a couple days of playing advanced ‘hide and seek’ for a lifetime free of Jesse Coste. But of course if Seiji fails, he goes back to Jesse both as a teammate and as a boyfriend. But he doesn’t need to think about that. I mean there’s no chance he’ll lose. It’s just a epee, a simple idle epee that can’t even move on its own. This won’t even be a preworkout for him.....So why he is so scared.
Relationships: Nicholas Cox/Seiji Katayama, Seiji Katayama/Jesse Coste
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Applesandbannas747](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applesandbannas747/gifts).



Chapter 1: Advances and addictions

Jesse coste. The name itself shakes the hearts of fencers everywhere. Be it fear, jealousy or amazement and utter wonder.  
His name meant something, his existence meant something, an existence that he spent 16 years trying to cement into the world. He wanted to stand out, to be more than perfect. He didn’t know whether the urge came from his dad, his fear of being left behind or whoever created him and his personality, but it was there. Fencing for him was a means to do that: the elegance, the overwhelming discipline and style. The rush of knowing that your fate can be decided in one second with a simple flick. The control yet the underlying sense of a gamble. He fell in love with the sport and the sport fell for him too and he became a internationally renowned champion. Champions weren’t left in the left corner of the article. Champions didn’t have their names confused with their parents. Champions got what they wanted, when they wanted and with whom they wanted. He was a champion. He was Jesse Coste.

But why were all these things in the past tense? When did his existence stop being dictated by his victories and his name. When did he stop caring? Or rather, when did he start caring about something more than fencing, more than himself?

Was it at 12? When he met Seiji? The shy timid boy who’s eyes dazzled so brightly that he couldn’t look directly at it without being blinded yet was so beautiful that you couldn’t help but look. Was it the way that Seiji kept up with him during those heated matches, the way he fought to the death with those damn fleches? The way their heat and sweat danced with them during those bouts? The way he pushed Jesse to greater heights while eventually becoming the very ground Jesse felt himself be so drawn to by gravity? Or was it the way the boy he loved broke down in front of him at the National under sixteens tournament.....and it was all his fault. 

“Damn talent....never did anything for anyone.“ 

Maybe it was the 4 years before then. The years they walked through adolescence hand in hand and did everything together. All those weekend sleepovers and those stay-up-past-bedtime nights where they held hands under the covers because that’s all they knew to do. The intertwining of every part of their lives somehow shifted Jesse’s entire point of view . Somewhere along the line, other people stopped mattering. Those papers that allowed him to be remembered stop mattering, they burned away in his mind. What mattered was the broken relationship that fell through the floor after the tournament, the way Seiji’s eyes lost their dark sparkle during their dates and their dances just weren’t the same. What mattered was the fact that despite becoming champion, he failed to become the champion in the eyes of the one person who meant the most to him. 

What mattered was the fact that one day the phone calls stopped and the messages stopped being replied to, if not read at all. And just like that, their lives were separate again. And he was all alone. But withdrawal symptoms aren’t that easy to get rid of. And neither is his love for that same dazzling boy.

Maybe that’s why he’s outside some unknown school that he barely cares about.

Epee in hand.

Plan set. 

He puffs out his chest, straightens his hair and with a heart set strong....

walks in. 

“So THIS is where you fence”

Game start.


	2. Chapter 2: Per(in)fection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time was Jesse’s turn, this time it’s Seiji’s. I want to explore the main three so that the plot is hopefully stronger in the end. Idk🤷🏽. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2) Per(in)fection

Seiji was perfect. That was his thing. His main/only characteristic. His guideline that he used to navigate the world. His mantra was “no flaws, no faults, no problems”. His self-attained perfection was the marketing tool that allowed him to sell himself. Fencing was part of that perfection. The slickness of the blade and sharpness of the movement did it for him. He wanted to be just as slick and just as sharp. He for some reason never felt comfortable with his family, he instead felt stuck and nervous due to their expectations. His discomfort came not from the feeling of obligation or pressure to fufill his family’s expectations but from the idea that his life was in their hands instead of his. That his performance should be based on what they wanted instead of him and his desires. He hated that. He was going to be the perfect son, but under his terms and in his way. So he took an oath to himself at a very young age. He promised himself that his world was going to be painted by the colours he chose and by his hands. Not someone else’s. So under those lights where he was in control, where the blade was in his hands, where with a single flick he was absolutely flawless......he felt at home.

A home that he soon realised, was broken into by Jesse Coste. 

His glass house that he took refuge in was invaded, taken over and ultimately destroyed by the blonde haired beauty he once loved.  
He was sure Jesse didnt mean to, he was a fencer too so they would meet on the piste. It was inevitable. Jesse was at least nice during those bouts, not a single bad word of condescension everytime the edge of the blade hit seiji to turn the 14 into a 15 and end their match. But nice or not, Seiji kept losing. And with each loss, he became a little less perfect, a little less able to identify as the thing which had driven him for so many years. And by the time he lost in the under-sixteens....he lost himself.

The thing that terrified Seiji was the fact that although he loved Jesse and enjoyed dating him for those four years, within that time, the feelings he had for the boy started to slowly but dangerously shift. It stopped being sweet and adorable and instead became entirely reliant and toxic. He felt hopelessly inferior. With each lost match he started to view Jesse as someone above him, someone who he couldn’t do anything towards except look up to. It was to the point where he stopped caring about how beautiful everyone thought he looked on the piste and instead how beautiful Jesse thought he looked. How good Jesse thought he was. He let his worth be decided by their matches and what he thought Jesse’s opinions of him were. I’m a way, his life started to be determined by Jesse. And by that happening, he was unknowingly and unintentionally starting to throw away the promise he made to himself and with it, the foundation of which him and his perfection based themselves on. 

He allowed his world to be painted by someone other than himself, in colours he did not choose.

In that time he started to become scared of losing to Jesse in their practice bouts, not because he hated losing, it wasn’t like he was better than Dmytry or fencers at that level. He knew he had improvements to make and heights to further rise up to. He was fine with losing sometimes. Instead, he was scared of losing to Jesse specifically because he was terrified of the smile that Jesse would throw at the end of their practice matches. The smile that he mistook for pity, the smile that he thought meant that Jesse was unimpressed with Seiji. That he failed. It was the same smile Jesse threw when Seiji lost the under-sixteens to him. The smile that meant too much to Seiji and consequently, the smile that ultimately tore the two apart. 

After the tournament Jesse tried to cheer Seiji up. A lot of Dates, make-out sessions and flowers. Jesse always hid his medal out of sight, never spoke of the match or even fencing altogether for Seiji. And he tried to smile more, to make up for Seiji’s lost one. The final mistake. All these niceties were useless, Seiji thought Jesse was pitying him and was disappointed in him even more so than before. He felt like a let down to the one person he let his self-worth he decided by. He hated how pathetic it all sounded in his mind when he thought of it during those sleepless nights. He doesn’t know what Jesse’s thinking, so how can he know that Jesse feels so negatively about him? Isn’t this all in his head? Well logic couldn’t beat out his dark insecurities and he hated how weak and vulnerable he felt around the boy. But what he hated the most was the idea of him breaking up with Jesse face to face and having to explain all of this to him. So unable to take the pressure but also unable to handle it properly, he left. He left Jesse on unread and left their relationship in the dust. He left his Exton acceptance letter in the bin and the shiny blazer that came with it in his closet. He left the picture of him and Jesse on his night stand. The one taken the night before their match. Where he was kissing Jesse’s cheek after mutually promising not to let the result come between them.

“Couldn’t keep that promise but I can at least try to mend the one I made to myself”  
So with that thought in mind, he left and didn’t turn his head for anyone.

He decided it was time to get himself back. 

To take back those brushes he left in Jesse’s hands. 

To start painting again.

Kings Row was the place to start. It was unknown so it wouldn’t be on Jesse’s radar but was still such a remarkable place that it was able to produce a fencer like Robert Coste. He had a plan. Get on the team and keep winning until he felt like the most beautiful thing on the piste like before. Then face Jesse, defeat him and by doing so, crush his weak past self and his inferiority complex. It was all coming together, he got on the team no problem. Well except for one that became easier to deal with. There was a thorn at his side that rubbed him up the wrong way. He first assumed it was the brash way the thorn spoke or it’s annoying “I’m gonna beat you” mentality. But he realised the pain in his chest came whenever he saw the “thorn” aka his roommate fence. Something about the speed of Nicholas reminded him of the same ex-boyfriend he was running from. But at the same time, Nick was so different that the ptsd wasn’t so bad. Although he would never say, he became friends with the boy as the pain started to dull. He was proud when Nicholas got on the team. He also kinda liked the others. Coach Williams was brilliant. Harvard was intelligent yet gentle, Eugene was vibrant and determined and Aiden was....Aiden.  
But either way, he felt strangely comfortable at this school. And with his 4 teammates and coach, they were going to win. He was going to be able to look straight at Jesse, not up at him like he had been for so long. Instead of a failure, he was going to stand before Jesse as his equal. And maybe even talk things out with Jesse, once he got a better handle on himself. And the best thing was, he was gonna do it at his own pace. He wasn’t going to even have to look at Jesse until he was rea-

“So THIS is where you fence”

............”Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I’m back. I’ve decided to update because reasons. Hope you enjoy. And I don’t even know if he’ll read this but Applesandbannas747 is still an absolute king and we stan.


	3. Novice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The third and final in-depth intro to the main three. It’s Nicholas’s time to shine. Next chapter, the plot begins. Thanks for sticking with it. Hope you like the chapter😊😊.

Chapter 3: Novice

Nicholas knew from a very young age that the world wasn’t fair. He often found it similar to a game. Some people won. Some didn’t. He made a habit not to spend his time feeling bad about it. He ignored the tears in his eyes when he saw fathers pick his classmates up at school. Ignored the scratch in his throat when kids spoke about what careers their parents had. He ignored the hunger he felt when his mum couldn’t get the overtime she needed so the rent needed to come first and the food could come second. He ignored it all.

He didn’t mind that he started out as a loser, in fact he relished in it. He thought those who had an easy life given to them were weak, it was a weakness that he knew wasn’t their fault but a weakness that existed nonetheless. Fragility. In his eyes, those who had things easy weren’t comfortable with difficulty or failure, they didn’t have the power to overcome true adversity. The way he saw it, they would snap and break and twist because they never had the strength, the special kind of strength that only came from having nothing, to stay firm. In his opinion, kids who are told that the world belongs to them never experience the hunger of someone who’s told they don’t even belong there, that the world has nothing for them.

“I’ll take what the world won’t give”

That thought pushed him to fencing. To him fencing was about taking a point from your opponent without their consent. To use your skill to not only put yourself on even ground with your opponent, but to totally dominate and destroy them. With one flick, you could level up from a novice to an expert. From a loser to a winner. From someone who was starved from affection to someone who was looked at with adoration. Obviously he could’ve chose any other sport like badminton and tennis and he did try. Public school clubs and their free competitions went fine but nothing felt as good as that epee in his had. He would have a harder time of it but he didn’t mind. Working after school to skipping school altogether to work and doing whatever he needed to so he could pay for those lessons. He would not stop. He would become a winner.

Him choosing to fence probably came down to his dad being a fencer, but he’d never admit that. He would never admit that it made him feel closer to a man he felt was so faraway from him. He would never admit that fencing was a way for him to surpass his “genius” weak brother who had everything easy. He would never admit that the reason he entered the under-sixteens was so Robert Coste would see him fence and hopefully see the resemblance. Hopefully see him and recognise him as his son. As naive as that sounded, it’s what help pushed Nicholas. He hope that Robert would the resemblance that came from 100s of hours of watching that same 1984 Olympic match over and over again. He wanted Robert to see him.

He would never admit how crushing his lost was to Seiji. How his entire pathway that he was going to use to finally become a winner was ruthlessly cut by someone who had it better than him. How he couldn’t even overcome his first match. His first hurdle. How Robert Coste couldn’t see him. How he was still a loser. 

He would also never admit that not all those cuts and bruises he got that day were from Seiji alone.

Retry.  
Repeat.  
Respawn.

He needed training, good training, training great enough that would allow him to wipe the smug grin of that blonde-haired idiots face and steal that #1 spot from him. He wanted training that would make everyone look at him. Training that would make his dad finally look at him and not Jesse. Maybe then the hunger would stop. Maybe then he would become a winner. 

Some time later and he made the team. He made some good friends and found a coach who would allow him to accomplish all those goals. He also made friends with Seiji, the boy who knocked him out the tournament. Something about Seiji attracted him. Once he got past the consistent annoying questions about Jesse, he really liked Seiji. He felt that the boy wasn’t one of those weak minded brats, that he worked twice as hard as anyone, that he was a winner. He respected and admired that. He was also beautiful which helped. He felt like he found a comrade. A friend or even something more. Maybe they could win together.  
But something about Seiji always made Nicholas believe that the boy was running from something. He didn’t know what, but he wanted to find out....and he wanted to help. And he wanted Seiji.

All things considered, he was happy. He had a coach and amazing friends and Seiji, hopefully. He had a home. He felt like he had something that belonged to him. Like a weapon in a game that another player couldn’t take. He had something that was his and his alone. Something that wouldn’t just up and vanish. And what’s even greater is the fact that he earned it. The same way he would earn his dad’s love. The same way he would earn his title as #1. The same way he would be a winner. The same way he would beat Jesse. 

The same way he would finally have the courage to ask Seiji ou-

“So THIS is where you fence”

It wasn’t the abrupt words that got him, or even the annoying smirk on that spoilt brat’s face. 

It was the terror, the absolute pain he saw in Seiji’s face. 

Seiji was scared.

And consequently

So was Nick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well everyone, thank you for reading. Feel free to leave as many comments as you want, I’ll probably reply to them all. I love interacting with the fence community and I find myself loving writing about the characters. Also you guys already know who I stan.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I’m a first time fic writer, long time shipper and all time fan of fence. And I spy with my little eye absolutely no shipping between Jesse and Seiji, so I’ve brought my workers tool box and inconsistent writing to change that because 2020 is a turbulent year so you better believe I’m gonna get turbulent with my ships. Future fics might have some Bobby x Nicholas? Seiji x Aiden? Harvard x Kally? No one knows where this train is going. So put on your seatbelts (yes my train has seatbelts, we value safety in this household) and get ready for something awesome. Or just plain mediocrity...depends on your taste.  
> Also Applesandbannas747/Jack is an absolute fanfic King and no one can change my mind.


End file.
